Does PMS Ruin Marriages? We Think Not.

PMS-MarriageA recent paper put out by Michael R. Gillings claims that PMS can ruin marriages. Problem #1?  The author can’t seem to properly distinguish between PMS (premenstrual syndrome) and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), which is like confusing a kitten for a lion.

Eighty percent of women just have PMS - which is a bunch of mild, annoying symptoms. Five to eight percent of women have PMDD, which is a serious and sometimes disabling disorder. He claims that PMS was made to drive off the infertile males and leave us to find fertile males - a typical male explanation. Not only does he assume that all couples are heterosexual, but he always assumes that they are all motivated by childbearing decisions as well.

PMS does not ruin marriages. This, again, reinforces the idea that we turn into crazy women every month. Women are taught to be hush-hush about their periods so they don’t make people uncomfortable. The reality is, we are trying to suffer silently and only have outbursts when it becomes too much. Women are very aware of the PMS stigma and do not want any man to attribute our reactions to this because it gives them a reason to dismiss our feelings.

Not to mention that every woman is affected very differently by PMS. I’m pretty sure if a man felt this way every month, he wouldn’t be too happy either!

While we don’t believe that PMS has any affect on your marriage or relationships, we do believe that it can inconveniently interrupt your life every month. Girl Uninterrupted is about PMS relief that is effective, natural, and discreet – and allows you to live your life without interruption. If you feel you’re your monthly flow is interrupting your life, check out how Girl Uninterrupted can help with your PMS relief.

What are your thoughts on Michael R. Gillings’ paper about PMS and marriage? Let us know in the comments below!

Love Uninterrupted Day 7 – That’s So EF’ing Annoying

Love Uninterrupted Day 7 Pet Peeves

Sometimes there are things that are just plain annoying. Pet peeves can be deal breakers too. It could be anything from flatulence to body hair.

At this point, if you haven’t realized that communication is key then perhaps the issue is not your partner but you.

Talk is not cheap. It’s a price we pay for healthy relationships and peace of mind.

Recognizing what your pet peeves are is a great way to identify what triggers your ugly side. Personally I can’t stand the sound of a leaky faucet so a boyfriend who gets up at 3am and forgets to turn it off will have me writing “REDRUM” on the bathroom mirror before I go to bed.

Sometimes a pet peeve is insight into a bigger issue with your relationship. It might shed light into the fact that you either don’t want to be with that person or that you’ve changed and so has your needs.

If someone doesn't know that their snoring is disrupting your sleep, then you can’t blame them for it. Be tactful and compassionate when addressing pet peeves with your significant other.

Knowing the difference between a pet peeve and a deal breaker can prevent awkward conversations and passive-aggressive behaviors.

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • What ticks have your past boyfriends/girlfriends complained that you had?
  • How do you initiate confrontation? How do you handle being confronted with?
  • What are your most annoying pet peeves?
  • What are your deal breakers?

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Love Uninterrupted Day 6 – The Pink Elephant is a Freak

Love Uninterrupted Day 6 Sex

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone but people in relationships have sex. OMG!

Sexual incompatibility will kill most relationships. So how do you become compatible? Use your mouth, as in TALK. Wow someone has a dirty mind!

Fortunately, sexual compatibility is not a hit or miss kind of thing. If you two love each other, you’ll find a way to make it work.

Some things you can try to liven things up:

  • Try different positions. Remember, magic happens outside of your comfort zone.
  • Incorporate toys. Give new meaning to the phrase “play time.”
  • Keep It Sensual and Seductive. Sometimes it’s an inside job. Exploit your fantasies and make them a reality.
  • Masturbate. If you've never had an orgasm then you’re putting up with mediocre sex.

If you’re not comfortable talking about sex with your partner then that’s an issue that goes deeper than compatibility.

First establish a baseline for your sexual comfort level. Then build from that.

If you’re shy, don’t be. Sexual pleasure starts with the mind first and then the body eventually, and rather quickly, follows.

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • Do you like how you look naked? When he/she is naked, are you turned on?
  • What are your limits, in terms of foreplay and sexual activities? S&M? Threesomes? Role-playing?
  • Do you like to talk dirty? If not, why not? If so, what are your favorite words?
  • Do you know what turns your significant other on?

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Love Uninterrupted Day 5 – Thou Shalt Have Goals or Else

Love Uninterrupted Day 5 Ambition

Ambition: when you have a deeply rooted desire for achievements, personal and professional.

Were you the type that wrote down their life goals in high school? Or are you the type that goes with the flow?

“Que sera, sera”

When picking a life partner, being on the same “page” is important. Having passion for life can’t be faked. You either have it or you don’t.

Looking at your significant other, examine the following:

  • Does he/she love what they do?
  • Have they moved up the salary ladder?
  • Did he/she finish high school? College? Post-graduate?
  • Do they have a plan for their goals?

Money tends to be a taboo topic but it can’t be, not when you’re considering a life-changing event like marriage.

There’s nothing wrong with having ambitions and expecting others to have the same.

Work / Life balance is a myth. It’s a juggling act, at best. In a relationship, knowing your role is what helps makes the balance.

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • How important are your ambitions to you?
  • Where do you want to be in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
  • Do you need to be financially taken care of? If not, are you comfortable being the primary breadwinner?
  • If you have children or want children, who is the primary caregiver?

Click here to download a pdf of today's lesson

A Valentine Love Letter : Prose of Passion, Separation, and Hope

 

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I remember a sultry night where my heart was revived. Standing across pillars of humdrum city artifacts, I peered a sight worthy of awe. She stood slender and coquettish, prompting my attention to her stance and grace. A small zephyr blew by and etched the t memory into my mind with heart in tow. With very little reserve, the tempts of fate brought with the wind,  a chemistry strong as the ambrosia of satsuma and potency of words carved in rock.

My introduction to this siren stealing my heart was nothing less than extraordinary, one without compare. As days and months proceeded on the timeline above glaciers of the minds sense, the feelings only increased. Adventures abound with happiness and excitement, a fervor of blood, sweat and tears leading into exchange of heavenly delight and sharing of soul.

Our consumption of all things beautiful and unique led the young man and woman into an embrace without which anything else mattered. Enter the collapse of a soul whose character fell from grace. Moments and sensations had now had placed upon them stress and small lacerations. The beauty and purity still there, now it was time to bid adieu. The man knew his mate needed much more, and the purity, love and chemistry could only suffice to hold together small pockets of mirth, too little, too late. The plan was now to share the best of the best for a moment in time without hold. She deserved the best and he too hoped time may hold more for them both - an incredible journey into a lifetime for two souls forever entertained in embrace and positive tension.

Love Uninterrupted Day 4 – Art Thou Compatible

Love Uninterrupted Day 4 Astrology

Dating by the stars. I wouldn't make life decisions on the stars but a little bit of astrological insight can work wonders.

Water signs include Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio.
Water signs tend to be more emotional, sensitive, creative & and nurturing.

Earth signs include Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo.
Earth signs tend to be practical, materialistic, stubborn & dependable.

Air signs include Aquarius, Gemini and Libra.
Air signs tend to be analytical, detached, intellectual & social.

Fire signs include Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.
Fire signs tend to be spontaneous, extroverted, self-centered & passionate.

Those born within 2-3 days of the astrological changes are considered on the cusp and will have characteristics of both signs.

Astrological compatibility can be as simple as looking at their elements and seeing how they mix. Water nourishes the earth. Fire needs air to survive.

On the flip side, water puts out fire and air can freeze the earth. As always, there are exceptions to the rule.

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • Are you extroverted (outgoing) or introverted (reserved)?
  • Do you like hanging out in groups or do you prefer alone time?
  • What characteristics about yourself do you absolutely love? Hate?
  • Pick 4 adjectives that describe your personality.

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Love Uninterrupted Day 3 – Thou Shalt Come From Good Stock

Love Uninterrupted Day 3 Family

When dating someone who’s different from you, take mental notes on what you’re comfortable with especially when it relates to culture and religion.You may be open to dating someone who comes from a different upbringing as you, but are you comfortable with a long term relationship when there’s such a difference?

Questions you may want to answer for yourself before asking your date:

  • Do I want kids? If so how many?
  • How close am I with my family?
  • Do I want him/her to have the same bond with their family?
  • How involved is your family in your life?
  • How involved do you want his/her to be?

Changes in family values and/or upbringing can spell heartbreak if not agreed upon early. Interfaith relationships can work when you both agree to compromise. How much are you willing to compromise?

If you’re a devout Catholic, can you build a family with an atheist? It’s definitely doable, but the real question is “do you want to?”

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • How important is it for you to always be right?
  • When you think of the word “family” what comes to mind?
  • How important is it for you to have children?
  • How important is religion for you, if at all? Are you comfortable with inter-faith relationships?

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Love Uninterrupted Day 2 – Thou Shalt Have Integrity

Love Uninterrupted Day 2 Integrity

Integrity: adhering to specific behaviors, actions, expectations and outcomes as if they were the right way to be.

  • Once you have examined loyalty, integrity is next.
  • Does someone have the same morals you?
  • Does your significant other keep their promises to you? How about with others?

Pay attention to what someone says and what they do. That’s very telling of their character. Action always speaks louder than words.

Gauging integrity requires a personal reality check. Begin with critiquing yourself before judging someone else’s integrity. There’s nothing wrong with having standards as long as you hold yourself to them as well.

  • Is lying ever justified?
  • To protect a loved one?
  • To spare their feelings?
  • To protect yourself?

Life is full of grey areas. Integrity is not a black/white topic. The important thing is to know yourself well enough to know what compromises you’re willing to make with someone else’s choices. What is the context? “Would you lie” is a loaded question because answers would change depending on the circumstances.

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • Would you (have you) ever cover for a coworker who leaves early, takes long lunches, pockets office supplies, etc?
  • Do you keep secrets from your partner? If so, what kind and why?
  • Have you ever had to embellish a story?
  • How much do you judge others? What do you judge them for?

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Love Uninterrupted Day 1 – Thou Shalt Be Loyal or Else

Love Uninterrupted Day 1 Loyalty

Loyalty: expressing devoted attachment towards someone, or something.

This is one of the cornerstones of most relationships. Loyalty is expressed with action.

  • Does he/she turn off Call of Duty when you walk through the door?
  • Does he/she call you back in a timely manner or do you have to wait hours for them to respond with a “k” to your 140 character message?

Loyalty is one of the easiest things to gauge because you’re measuring action. You’re looking at how they prioritize you in their life. The best way to understand loyalty is to look at your own attachments.

What are you loyal to?

  • Mani/Pedi’s?
  • Cappuccinos?
  • Monthly brunches with the girls?

When you’re able to prioritize the loyalties you have for yourself, it becomes easier to understand and accept the loyalties of others. It also helps put your relationship into perspective.

If your significant other ranks #25 on your list of priorities, then is it realistic to expect him/her to place you in their top 5?

Today's Assignment: Take a few minutes to answer the following and reflect on your answers to these questions:

  • What does loyalty mean to me? Is there a difference between emotional and physical loyalty?
  • Why am I loyal? What keeps me from wanting to break someone’s trust?
  • What does the gray area of my loyalty consist of? Cheating? Sexting? Flirting?
  • What are the deal breakers in my relationship? Lying? Infidelity?

Click here to download a pdf of today's lesson